Audio: Teaching Our Children the Value of Quiet (and boredom)

Teaching our Children the Value of Quiet (and Boredom too) 

Melissa and Dave’s Keynote address #2 at the BC Christian Home Educators Conference

I believe that there is incredible potential for us to grow our children and a vital need for us to teach them how to embrace and look for opportunity in times of rest, quiet and ESPECIALLY Boredom! Melissa and I shared about this at a recent homeschool conference as the keynote speakers.

Teaching our Children the Value of Quiet (and Boredom too) 

For more reading in my Redefining Boredom Series follow these links:

Part 1: Room for relationship

Part 2: Healing

Part 3: Creativity

Part 4: Spiritual Growth

Audio: The Impact of Rules with Relationships on our Faith and Parenting

Click here to listen Rules – Relationship = Rebellion

Exploring how rules impact our tendency as human beings to rebel – toward our parents and even towards God.

Keynote address at CHEC (Christian Home Educators Conference)


For articles on this check out these links:

The Heart of Discipline: The Principle of New Covenant Parenting – How Rules Relate to Rebellion

Rules – Relationship = Rebellion : A Parenting Principle


Rogue One: A Star Wars Movie “Sticking it Out When Things Go Bad”


Rogue One: A Star Wars Movie

“I’m not used to people sticking around when things go bad.”

“Welcome home”

I took my family to see “Rogue One: A Star Wars Story” and it was amazing! Don’t worry I won’t spoil anything for you, but I will say that you should see the movie.


I was sitting and enjoying the story and characters as it filled in gaps to the original movie (episode IV) when a specific line stood out to me in an incredible way.


There is a scene in the movie when things look like they have taken a turn for the worst and that all hope is basically lost and a dialogue between the two main characters happens as they decide what to do next.


The scene that made the movie for me went something like this:


Jyn walks into the hanger, dejected but not wanting to quit and Cassian approaches her with words of encouragement and loyalty. The two sentences below had a level of depth and power that is hard to describe.


Jyn looks at Cassian and says, “I’m not used to people sticking around when things go bad.”


Cassian’s response is, “Welcome home.”


Isn’t that powerful?


So often we assume when things go bad we will be left alone to deal with it, or that we will be deserted in some way.


We are called to stand together as Christians, to unite and at the very least pray with one heart for one another and our struggles and hurdles. Especially when those hurdles are brought about by our obedience to God and His greater purpose in our lives.


The unified spirit that affirms us and spurs us to take on any challenge is powerful. Knowing that we aren’t alone and we will sacrifice for each other, this knowledge makes us family. Similar to Jyn’s situations, for many it’s the only true taste of family they might ever have.


My prayer for you is that you will find your “family” of believers that will stand by you when things get rough, that you can stand with when they are going through hard times.


Gal. 6: 1-2, 10

John 13:34

1 Thess. 5:11

Heb. 10:24-25

A Story of Forgiveness and Blessing

A Story of Forgiveness and Blessing


I’ve thought a lot about forgiveness and how important it is. I’m not sure how many people you have met that seem to seethe with hatred and bitterness, who can’t seem to talk about anything else but a or person that they have a major issue with, rehashing the same thing over and over again?


I know I have met a few people with this issue, and I know that I am just as susceptible as anyone else to falling into that cycle.


After all, holding on to anger towards someone makes us feel powerful, like we are justified and “right” doesn’t it?


That feeling of power and justification is deeply futile and completely misleading. It’s especially interesting seeing someone filled with hatred towards another and meeting the other person only to find out they had no idea that there was a problem, or at the very least that they have moved on and forgotten or worked through the issue.


In those moments, who is the one with the sense of freedom? Surely not the person wallowing in hatred and bitterness, they are just staring at the mirror making faces and threatening gestures at themselves.


In my life there was a situation where I honestly believed that I had forgiven those that offended me. I had moved on and let go and every time it came to mind would pray and give it to God – but I was wrong.


It was just over two years ago now that I went to a conference and heard R.T. Kendall speak. He was talking about forgiveness and he said something that really shook me.


He stated that God had asked him a question “Have you forgiven them?”


His response was “Yes.”


God’s reply, “Then pray blessings over them.”


His response was “I can’t do that!”


God’s prompting, “Then you haven’t forgiven them.”




I was torn and not excited about the idea of praying blessings for people that had offended me and who I felt hadn’t sought out or responded to attempts at reconciliation.


But I went to bed that night and woke up with an incredibly vivid dream.


I was walking into a dark cave filled with cob webs and rot, I realized that the cave was actually inside of me and somehow I became aware of the fact that I have entered the cave through my big toe (odd I know but when you think about bitterness and its root being small and obscure it makes sense). I woke up and began to desperately pray blessings over those who had hurt me.


You might be thinking “But they don’t deserve it, I can’t do that or they won’t learn their lesson!” And I would be right there with you.


But if you consider that concept, holding back a blessing from them only adds to my false sense of control, it is the equivalent of my saying that I am the one who will judge and determine whether or not they are worthy.


Praying blessings over them allows me to let go and trust God to take care of it. Will that mean bigger and better ministry, job promotions and any other kind of blessings from God? Maybe, but that’s God’s decision to make. He is the ultimate and perfect judge.


So I have been praying for them for over two years. Even still, there are moments where I get frustrated and remember the hurt, but I take it to God and remember that He has both them and me in His hands.


And you know what, if I pray God’s blessing over others, doesn’t that blessing naturally include His Holy Spirit working, softening and growing in them – and by default me too?


What better way to soften my heart towards possible restoration and reconciliation, but to trust God with it all?


My prayer for you is that you would find true forgiveness and begin to let go of the false sense of power and control you may be feeling. May you give it to God, trust Him to be the judge and allow Him to soften your heart.


May His peace rule in your heart and soul no matter the response of your offenders.



Rethinking “Family” This Christmas Season

Rethinking “Family” This Christmas Season



For most of us, when we think of Christmas, we think of family. When I was growing up I remember looking forward to the break, but even better was the opportunity to be with family. Sometimes we would drive to Toronto (from Windsor) to spend time with my cousins. This actually became even more prominent when I left for university and would come home for the holidays. Christmas has always meant being with people.


Maybe Christmas with your family doesn’t bring you a lot of joy, or maybe the holidays are your favorite time of year. Either way, family at Christmas, should be about more than just our siblings, parents and children.


There is no better opportunity to remember that we are a part of God’s family! We are chosen, loved and created by a perfect and loving Father, who demonstrated His love to us by taking on human form, as an innocent baby, who would give His life for us.


Somehow we forget and lose sight of this fact, our gift giving, decorating, events and even relationships in our lives end up taking all of our focus. It seems fair in many ways. Just as the arrival of a new baby would have people looking for nursery wall decals for their room, so too does the arrival of Christmas begin with people decking the halls.


Just as a group of people with the same father call themselves siblings, so are we brothers and sisters with the same Heavenly Father.


Let that sink it for a moment.


This reality means that NONE of us are without family at Christmas time.


My challenge to you during this season is that you would take time to focus on your spiritual family. Recognizing first who your Heavenly Father is and how significant it is that he sent Jesus as the ultimate example of love, giving His son so He could have a relationship with you! Additionally my prayer is that your view of family would grow and that you would BE God’s family to others finding ways to love those who might be feeling like no one cares for them this Christmas.


Here are a few ideas that might help you do this in the coming season:


  1. Set an extra place setting for meals on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, symbolizing the idea of leaving room for Jesus. Perhaps acknowledge the seat before prayer and thank God for His sacrifice and gift for you. Framing your holidays in this way can help give you eyes to see the true meaning of the season and help you avoid getting lost in busyness.
  2. Consider adopting a family in your church that has nowhere else to go and invite them over to share Christmas dinner.
  3. Call your local University or Bible College to see if there are some “stranded” students you can invite over for a Christmas meal.
  4. Symbolically welcome a new baby into your home by singing Happy Birthday to Jesus, maybe have a decorative cradle to blow out, and have your family give baby Jesus gifts, explaining to each other what the significance of those gifts might be. If you are literally welcoming a newborn baby into your home then you may want to make use of some parenting resources for women to help you through this exciting but challenging period in your life.
  5. Consider having some gifts for people you don’t know under the tree. Things like a donation to the local foodbank, or care package for the homeless person in the parking lot. Pray together as a family and ask God to lead your heart and mind to how and who to give those gifts to.


Get creative and consider ways to BE God’s family this season. I’d love to hear what ideas your family comes up with! Email me at


The Article was originally written for and published by the Fellowship Focus Magazine.

5 Things I Learned about Marriage at the Tough Mudder

I’ve done team-building exercises for years with both youth and adults of all ages. The results of doing things that are challenging in either physical or mental ways and having to accomplish them as a team is pretty incredible.


Those involved usually walk away with an increased degree of connection and an unspoken and innate awareness that the people they are working with are on their team and will have valid contributions and that they will put the overall goal before any personality or opinion differences that might exist.


Two weeks ago my wife and I spent 6 grueling hours doing something called the “Tough Mudder.” You may have heard of it, 19 km and 19+ obstacles to wrestle through and team-up to complete.


Here are 5 lessons I learned about marriage through the experience:

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